Mood: Plenary
Music: Led Zeppelin – Houses of the Holy
Iron & Wine – Woman King E.P.
Fictional character Peter Griffin once said 
“you can’t eat all those hamburgers.” Tim & I begged to differ as this Thursday we Venimus, Vidimus, Vicimus’d our way through a set of Wendy’s, McDonald’s & Burger King double cheeseburgers. Of course, this was all in the name of science…food science! We hypothesized, documented, discussed our biases, plotted to take over the world, made schematics and ate!
It’s the bees knees that all these restaurants were within a block of each other and each burger was a dollar or less. Call me fat, but if I ever need to economically gain 2lbs in a 10min span I know where I’m going. The rankings are on a scale of 1-10 with a 5 being acceptable/average and 10 being the best.
Aesthetics:
Wendy’s: 3
McDonald’s: 6
Burger King: 8
Wendy’s: What an UGLY hamburger. The buns were flat and wrinkly. It was like a gym locker room where the old guys never wear a towel…yah gross. Peeling off the pathetic bun didn’t improve the situation, a pinch of ketchup and mayo with no pickles or onions and what a tiny rectangular patty!
McDonald’s: This hamburger was fairly acceptable. The bun had a fluffy, consistent texture and a nice golden hue. The pickles were a bit mushy and the onions were these tiny little diced pieces, yet something was better than nothing. There was a bit too much ketchup and it was fairly greasy, but wait…What is this? Is it a slice of cheese so I don’t have to see parts of my bun sticking to the burger (ahem Wendy’s), why yes it is!
Burger King: They did the unthinkable and made a dollar burger look like an edible meal. The bun was robust with a great look and feel to it (minimal grease). The pickles weren’t wimpy and the ketchup and mustard were in good proportion. The cheese covered the whole patty as well.
Taste:
Wendy’s: 4
McDonalds: 8
Burger King: 6
Wendy’s: Seemed a bit chewy. Maybe that’s the “fresh never frozen,” speaking to me.
McDonalds: Has that classic taste to it. I haven’t eaten a McDonalds’ cheeseburger for probably a decade plus, but the taste is instantly recognizable and it is delicious.
Burger King: The BK didn’t taste like the signature double whopper I usually get (whether it has something to do with how they cook it or not, I don’t know). It was good, but nothing really caught my attention. It simply wasn’t that compelling of a burger even though it has no cons and several pros. Further testing will have to be done.
Value:
Wendy’s: 0
McDonalds: 9
Burger King: 10
I’m never getting another Wendy’s double cheeseburger. What a disappointing 98cents spent. What the hell am I going to do with two pennies…Burn them in effigy!
Burger King inches out McDonalds since it’s 33% bigger, yah we measured, it’s science!
Overall Winner: It’s a tie between Burger King and McDonalds. Burger King is a better burger, but there’s something addictive about the McDonald’s taste, because even though I’m full and my tummy kind of hurts, I want another one.
